Bell Canada loosing customers

Tech news: bell sux ballz. Ha! What do they have excellent customer services. However they must have that since their internet and phone lines are expensive, slow, and monitored. Fact: bell been trying to catch up in speed to videotron cable (or rogers/cogeco) for a decade. Keep trying ... Their line of defense? " U got to use that cale we gave you, u got to be close to the central and use a 6' wire from jack to modem. No tks. Why must I readjust everything so that I can get the net? Cable is the way to go too bad its about $30+ damn it
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The next prez shall be

We got obama for another 8 year(yes, I predict a re-election). After? Ralph Wigum for prez!!!!!
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China will show their peep how they spy - but not others

How nice that China is willing to show how their James Bond ops operates - but of course non Chinese cannot know about our secrets!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30499876/

How to be part of the Cool Stream on Fido

For those who dont know, i've been a loyal Fido Customer since they used to have Nokia 3390....the standard brick nokia where you can easily swap facecovers?? remember those? and then if you really wanted to be pimp, you would swap the standard green LED and in for them Blue neon ones (can use as a flashlight in the end)

Anywho: back in Feb 2009 - fido finally got their Blackberry system back on track with the new Pearl onboard. I had the BOLD from rogers for quite sometime since Oct (traded in from a iphone ver 1 jailbroken....no regrets).

So i got BBM working ...now what to do next?

Here are some tips, if you dont want to pony up on data package.

1) your BB pkg is unlimited - download Windows Live - have free chat.
2) your emails can be linked to your fido.blackberry.com email our your can just add an email address.
3) I have a blackbeery email which receives partial of my gmail items. Within Gmail - go to filters and add a new filter and select the emailers you like to forward a copy to your BB email.
This is practical if you want to stay on top of your notice from Facebook just to be in the loop.

BE WARN: if you do, do that...that means ALL (and i mean ALL) notification from facebook will be foward to you...which is ass if its someone else that u dont know has responded to a comment...(had the unfortunate time of gettoin 25 at one time just because i was tagged in a photo that everyone commented on)

4) Twiiter: 1) use twittermail to send your tweet. 2) use their reply friend to get the last 20 msg of your buddy. 3) you can send pics to tiwttermail in which it will then use twipic to post. Ahhh the beauty of it all!!!!

Enjoy the BB.

A few "hidden" words part 1

Here are a few "hidden" words that i have seen been used a whole lot here and there that needs to be added as a reference to the slang dictionary

+2 Factor: when a chick gets a boob job it increases her value two points on a ten point scale

+2's: fake boobs

30k Milli: a guy who claims he make millions, but really only make around $30k a year and spends all his money on stuff he can't afford; a poser

6 head (5 head): when a person has a enormous forehead (measured in inches)

Afro-Brow: hairy eyebrows

Air biscuit: fart

Cougar-Troll: an ugly cougar

Cougarville: place where cougars come from

Cougarwood: place where famous cougars go

Cougrrrr: Very ugly cougar

Dirty Bird: dirty/sl*tty British chick

Don: a young female gold digger looking for a new wealthy father or sugar daddy

Score Rating - the Reality Check

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik what do ya think about these local beauties, minus the scary looking one on the right.

Total score of 1.656468746.- nik

Taken from Nik Richie

Homer Helicopter - priceless

I denouce the Math Educational system

Grade 10 and 11th Math are now required to have a scientific graphical calculator. Cost: 75$ at least. WTF is that crap?

Seriously, I tutor still for kicks just to get my brain in check. However, I find the system a bit to lax. What is this "your not dumb ur just the last winner". Forget this. Im old school, do a long division that is 2 pages long with 8 decimal numbers.

Should a kid be held back for not doing well in math? No, but it doesnt mean you have to fool the poor kid that he is doing well when he aint!!!

As i always said "If your going to lie to me, lie to me well" (this is originally a quote that i used when i saw how films are made with wire. SCREW THAT I want to pretend they can do those stuff dont show it to me)

Eat this Not that....amazing collection

Its rare to find a book so educational that you have to praise it as if it was a bible. Men's Health: Eat This Not That series is an amazing find. Its the key book to selective dinning without turning into a rabbit. (You know, those people who constantly eat a bowl of lettuce and call that a meal...come on now...)

Here is such an example.

Eat a Ham and Cheese English Muffin and not a MULTIGRAIN bagel with light cream cheese.

Reason: the ham and cheese has protein and less calories no matter how much multigrain that bagel has.

Such satisfaction in knowing this..

The life of WoW

World of warcraft: people say its crack. South park spoofed it well when they saw stan and the gang have no life after getting involve in the game.

Its a fun game! Don't get me wrong. I love it. But to play till you don't know the days of the week it is. That's just dumb
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Life in the coffee lane

West island DDO has a drive through starbucks. Tim hortons is a smart thing to have since it has grub. Starbucks though is just coffee and latte... Come on now. I would only stop bitching about this if they have something similar for the SAQ
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New Way to say hate.

In a nice way instead of saying "screw you", I have invented new ways to say those:

"I pee on you"
"THUNDER FART"
"Rollover and get hit"
"Fat Lady start singing"
"God you owe me one for sunday"

Action movies are too cliché - my ass.

12 Rounds - starring John Cena (WWE Fame) and directed by the guy that made Die Hard 2 - was a flop comparing to Race to Witch Mountain with The Rock.

2 different types of movies, two different types of audience. One is more gritty and one is more family oriented action (its a disney film after all).

So what did the critics do? Compare 12 Rounds to something back in the 90? Please! Everything is so about CGI and the new tech and stuff - but when there is a throwback movie you say "been there done that?" So what? Its another movie its another form of entertainment. At least the plot line premises was good.

Lets see how well it fairs in the video rentals.

Make Up + Hair Dresser + Photoshop = Ownage

North by South West

What’s the difference between a Northern fairy tale and a Southern fairy tale?
A Northern fairy tale begins, “Once upon a time…”
A Southern fairy tale begins, “Y’all ain’t gonna believe this shit…”

Miss California Lost Crown - Duhhhhhhh

Now lets see - why do people ask these pop quizzes of Intellectual properties to .....pageant people?

To see how much of an airhead we have. Miss Cali - she was blonde....so already she is a strike on the ditz bullseye. HOWEVER her ownly defense was "cuze its wrong" about her final round question - well too bad.

Now EVEN if she was against - a proper argument would have saved it (because just saying stupidity was what costed the crown). The topic was touchy - kind a like the death penalty or something in those lines between two sided moral coin - the whole purpose was "can you defend your opinion on the spot? no? YOU FAIL"

Now go back in your chair and sip on that margarita and I'll see you in Desperate Housewives 16 somewhere in 2034

Chipmunks should croak now....

After last year's success of the digital remake of Alvin and the Chipmunks....youtube been flooded with Chipmunk remixes of popular songs.

QUIT IT ALREADY!

Japanese Game Show - Funny as hell

Here is a nice game show that shows some sort of skillz but its just hilarious to watch.

Note that FOX and BBC have tried to imitate this - however nothing beats the original content.

Dear Bob

Dear coach and gm Bob. You failed. A for winning the cup in your glory days but you failed as our gm and coach. Its time you accept the fact your midas touch left and to leave your seat with dignity. The more you wait, the bigger the riot.
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Gooooo habs go!

You know what. On your 100th anniversary where you hosted the all star game. Your star player got mvp. At least win 1 single playoff game and not get swept!!!! Bunch of @*#?!
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Homer Simpson guarding your food - that doesnt sound right

http://news.cnet.com/8301-17938_105-10224076-1.html

Those on a diet who can't resist the temptations lurking in the refrigerator will appreciate the Homer Simpson Talking Fridge Guard. Meant to sit on one of your fridge shelves, Homer will recite one of his six canned phrases ("Uh oh. Someone's gonna have a tummy ache!" "Mmmm...fattening") every time you open the door.

Shaolin Templ: Minks and Marine - 2008 Trailer

When a fat man can move like that - respect.

Wanna see how a dynasty walk in shame?

Watch the habs play on their 4th game and it will be the walk of shame towards a golf game

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Service. 1$ savings a day

So I ordered a #58 cartridge for my photoprinter. Saved 6$ off cheapest retail price around. Free pick up. Next to my work. What a disaster. 6 days late. 1$ a day of savings passed by just to save 6$. I ended up doing a price match with bureauengros(staples) since they had it priced higher than futureshop(down the block). So this cartridge is now my back up.

Moral of the story? Service trumps cheapness any day in my books
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People shouldnt lie to the mirroir

Excerpt from www.bennybing.com

"If you’re fat, be fat. Don’t try to lie to the mirror. The mirror doesn’t lie.

I’ve seen many women wearing a wee-bit too tight cloth despite God’s apparent molding to the contrary. All women aren’t intended to wear tight clothing. If you have a gut, put that motherfucking tight shit down. You shouldn’t wear form fitting clothing if you haven’t got any form. We rail on girls with no hips and ass for wearing hip-huggers and then I see women with a little to much pouch-action going. Your tits should be uptop and differentiable from your stomach. Two sets of boobs works great for the circus. Life? Not so much."

Save yourself 20cents...

In the time of needs, save yourself a few coins. For the fellow canadians here remember futureshop and bureauengros(staples) do price matching and discount off the price match.

Look @ both web site. Compare the same product and make sure the item states its in stock. Go in ask for the product and ask for an associate on the floor. Don't hold up the line @ the cash for it. They will need to verify the proof for this anyways so they will need to call it in.

This works on ANY thing they both have. Don't forget too: staples now have ipod and consoles like DS, xbox, etc use this to your advantage. Save your 2$ to be able to tip for that pint for 5 a 7
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Mcdee 24hr

I know there are buget cut problems here and there but how can u justify to have a mcdee line up @ a 24hr mcdee? Explain!
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Failed D.O.B

Ok. No comment but when you go in for a phone call for your folks remember the dob question. That's right I just gave a rang for it and failed to give the correct dob question
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I downgraded to a Blackberry ....MY ASS!

This one goes out to my boy Dwight. Who was AMAZED by the iphone. Got one himself...and when i told him i ditched for a bb Bold...so much hate man. Told me that i "downgraded"

oh yeah?

http://news.cnet.com/8301-13506_3-10219377-17.html

looks like someone is in my shoes too!

Why the line is long

Wtf... How can banking take centuries to do? Why do people just stack their banking and hold up the line wtf.... Deposite, pay, both... What 10mins?
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The brand...

Does one brand of booze better than the other? Yes

"But buddha what if I want to get smashed?"

Its still YES! Just will depends on how much of a hangover and how fast. There is a large difference between domestic vodka and something like SKY or Grey Goose, it just goes down easier...

Now in a club? Different story... For another time
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More Expensive Beer on the Rise?

How can Beer be more expensive in the time of crisis?

http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/SavingandDebt/SaveMoney/7-things-getting-cheaper-7-that-are-not.aspx?slide-number=12

can someone explain this to me?

Why do people start with russians

Vodka. The premier alcohol to start it all. Why? How? First blunder starts with vodka and people drink it proudly... And never deviate until they stumble away... But why does vodka become the first booze u touch?
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Love tech...

Just for those who are very mobile, there are ways to cheat the system.

I have a fido account with only bb access(tk god they wised up)... Emails are unlim, bbm and msn... Now how do I do what I do with those who can web browse? Easy....just activate multiple email catcher ;)....

Now I can blog off the phone and also update my tweets off twitter without sms! Mouhahaha

Just love the workarounds
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Easter...where the bunny at?

So easter passed by and now I wonder... Why is it called easter? Where did this bunny come from? Also since the bunny has to share jesus' resurrection date... Ever wonder who would win in a celebrity deathmatch fight? Eastern bunny vs the holy christ....(Yeah sounds like a good south park eps)
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Family Guy video Break

We need to be green! now thats eerie

http://news.cnet.com/8301-17938_105-10217274-1.html

hmm...i know we need to be more green but to recycle a bookshelf into a perfect casket? eek.

Montreal is TOP 20 of 29 ASKMEN.com Best City

Shazam people! We are voted #20 out of 29 for Best Cities to live in 2009 Edition. AWESOME! And look at the pint of beer meter 5.67$ YAH MAN!

http://ca.askmen.com/specials/2009_top_29/montreal.html

White folks getting Krunk

Ahhhhh...i love it when there are white people just go all out and become very very stupid.

Let me tell you why its funny.

People who say "lets drink". They drink. They forgot they over spent. They are sleeping now on the counter of the bar where as their friends are just tipsy.

Now what is this guy thinking? "I am in a club where everyone else is drinking..so no one will notice me here and im just plain tired"

Unless you come to the club where this ASIAN guy who takes lots of pictures will spot you MOUAHHHAHAAHHAHAH

SUCKER!

You Want Kung Fu? Fine....

People are so stereotypical of Asians that they think they know you so well due to movies, tv, and sitcom?

Now there are some stuff that i dont mind...but some are just out there.

"Hey you know how to do Kung Fu?"
Answer: no

"Oh come on show me some moves?"
Answer: oh thats right...im just hidding it. I dont want to show you all my moves fear that you may not like it. I swear... what if i dont know martial arts and just pretend like Bart? "Wanna see the touch of death? but i need a victim...wanna be it?"

The best case is when they are in denial for you "no way...come on ..your asian!!!" F.U man....i dont go around QC and ask every french speaking white people "do you want to seperate? come on...dont deny it!!!"

Stupid people - proven

Working off the web you get the idiots, the morons, and the dingbats.

Here are the type of questions that I would receive and my thoughts (i dont actually deal with them but i do express myself to my boss who just enjoys my criticism)

1)"Hello, I dont have my order number on me but i would like the tracking number for UPS please?"
Answer: we dont use UPS, where do you see the word UPS, where do you see the brown man walking with the brown truck? DING BAT.

2)"Hi i placed the order a few days ago. I see that you didnt take the money out of my account can i have a tracking number?"
Answer: you want us to give you product without taking money? Are you ok there buddy?

3)This one is amazingly good...it was written in the bottom of a fresh order. The order was about over 900$USD. "Hi, I dont have a credit card, can you bill me later? tks"...
Answer: "WOW...i want whatever she is having right now on my bad days...that is one awesome bong she is smoking....WOW"

Denoucing Sports Part 2

So, I decided to look up known "professional" sports leagues that I believe should be denounced as its not a sport.

Bowling. You toss a heavy ball and knock down pins. I like the concept that its a game. But a sports?

Cricket. They told themselves if baseball is a national sport...we will spruce it up and call it cricket. WTF where do brown people manage to pick up a 2x4 and swing a ball in Mumbai eh?

Curling. I cannot believe this thing is a sport and a CANADIAN SPORT! Why is this thing a sport? You take a broom and sweep a large oversize puck? Useless purchases "BROOMS"

Handball. Someone want to tell me how tossing ball is a sport? HERE IS A PASS ...I get paid..WTF

Speedway. Anything that has a motor seems to have a sports. Nascar, F1, now Harley davidson has one!!! Come on...Unless im physically in a vehicle, i refuse to acknowledge this to be a sport.

Finally something about you SOCCER people out there.

I want you to repeat after me. ITS CALLED SOCCER. or call it FIFA but I REFUSE TO CALL IT FOOTBALL.
Stop confusing it. Soccer (u kick with your feet) Football (NFL, CFL). There

Denouncing Sports.

I am denouncing the following sports as not being a real sport no matter what you tell me.

1) Golf. You arent playing against someone. You are playing against yourself. Fine there are tournaments and Tiger Woods put this game on the map. HOWEVER...hitting a second tiny ball over and over into a hole, im sorry...but its neither exciting or interesting. The only i can recommend is that it makes a very nice Coors Light Commercial to stare at.

2) Nascar and F1 racing. You do a LEFT TURN...a RIGHT TURN..Zoom zoom...im sorry, being a guy and all i love cars...but i love CARS THAT I CAN BUY. You do a turn its not exciting...lets put a few bodies you know...or a second chance to convicts. Yes lets turn this into a demolishing derby and if the convicts survive being chase down by a car...i say they stand a chance at parrol. NOW THATS A SPORT! but currently, no i dont believe nascar, f1 racing is a sport, but its a nice attraction for tourism.

3)70% of the olympic games in Summer arent sports.
a) Swimming: houray for Michael Phelps. But im sorry...swimming in a pool not that cool. How about if i add a few sharks in there...and see if you can really push yourself. For training of course you would go against a pirahna.
b) Running. Bolt: gratz on the gold BUT they make you curve someimes...no it should be like drag racing..one straight continuous line on a real street or in the sand. Thats real running.
c) The sport where u run and shoot...Im sorry but it only counts as a game if your hunting an animal. The worse is that if this was the case, PETA will up your ass about this.
d) synch swimming. oh come on....bunch of woman who shaved their legs and are under water doing the jig with their legs. Is this some sort of pervert's cool leg fantasy? No no...this is not a sport either.

Stacy's Mom....WTF IS THAT VIDEO MAN!

Ok so on a fast rewind from youtube..i landed on the song "Stacy's mom"...and you look at the entire song and your like "they aired a MILF video picturing tweens ...and everything...and you like...where is the censorship doing when this is airing....god knows what stupidity right?

as long as im not the only one that saw that and said "WTF" and then "WOW" and finally "ROFL" its all good

TAXI.......f.u

Taxi....

Do you know what a Taxi is called? A Taxi cab is when you dont have a reliable friend to drive you around. Your friend will be humble enough to say "no tks for the gas" but if its 5$ or even 10$..hey in some cars, you can last 3 days with that!

Taxi is a rip off. It sometimes smell, you dont get good music on, and its not always a guaranteed you will to where you need on time.

Did i mention its over priced? To travel the KM for the service you might as well walked or bugged your non-alcoholic friend for a ride (of course once you wake him up only...because you dont want to ruin your non-alcoholic friend's evening by getting yourself trash and he/she has to pick up your shit)

Did you know going from one end of DT (lets say Atwater) all the way to Place des Arts its about a 7-10$ cab ride because of the lights. Thats about the equivalent of 2 coronas at a club.

With me...Booze will win everytime by decision.

Ever walked ...

Ok so this past friday was a slow night at the club.

You know when its a slow night when your resident DJ starts tinkering around with music and starting to rock it...literaly.

Throw out the RNB, HIP HOP, RAP, and everyting...

amp it up..and rock....BON JOVI...


WTF...it was one of them nights..dont ask..but them white folks out of town really liked jamming to it. What would i do...just drink it off? no ..unfortunately. I know the lyrics..so i shout out "you give love a bad name" BLEH

People Cant Drive.

We have maniacs on the road. We have road rage.

But lets be honest. How does road rage happen. PEOPLE WHO DONT RESPECT THE NORM OF SPEED.

It writes 70km/h on the highway..DONT DRIVE UNDER IT. Come on ...its the freaking hwy! Everyone knows its 100km.h minimum. Fine you dont want to get a ticket and go 110...I can respect that...but creating your own traffic...no no...you should get revoked or a ticket for driving too slow.

School zone is 30km/hr ONLY during school time!!!...DRIVE NORMALLY THE OTHER TIMES!

Come on now....with these kind of frustration no wonder people will honk...out manoeuvring you....think about it...i dont think you wouldnt honk at the loser in front who dont pay attention to the green light because he is jamming to a tune (chris rock joke on when to call someone a fagot)

WWE - XXV

Those who dont follow. Tomorrow is the WWE Wrestlemania 25.

Be Inspired

Be around people that inspire you. That's what I call progress. Be with positive thinking people and those who believe that life is endless.

This is the wise words of the Buddha.

Morons Part 1

As a designer, and someone in retail, we try to avoid dumb people.

However the world is full of them.

Here is a typical example.

we have an email address called: noreply.

which states clearly at the bottom of the email "this is an automatic email address, there is no one checking it..please use the other means by clicking on this link to communicate with us"

and what do you know? the inbox of noreply has 1461 msgs.

F.U.PEOPLE!

And people say im drunk.

Ok so alcohol is the root of many things: liver failure, liver cancer, blackouts, divorce, child birth, celebration, death, life...

Hey...so if im the Beer Buddha...the alcoholic guru...does that mean i am a higher being who creates life and death?

Salary increase request by P.Niss

So my friend Mae sent me this nice letter that P.Niss(pun intended) wrote, of course management responded.

Salary increase request:

I, the P.Niss, hereby request a raise in salary for the
following reasons:

I do physical labour.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,

P. Niss


The Response

Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments
you have raised, the administration rejects your request for
the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen
visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and
stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your
shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such
as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have
completed the assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly
entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious
looking bags.

Sincerely,

V. Gina



OK, NOW BACK TO WORK

How to destroy someone in 6 liquor.

Ahhh thus is the life of the Beer Buddha, to drink lots, to know the liquor....and to serve those who wants something different.

Now for those who would like to mimic me (however there is only one original B.Buddha) here is a quick way to destroy someone with 6 liquor.

#1) Bailey Base. Go for a B-52 or a B-50. Get some sweetness in first...get the "hey its tasty!"
#2) Kamikaze. Sour. KABAM!
#3) Bullseye. Tequila with Tabasco. Forget the wedge, only the good rodeos should last.
#4) JD base shot. (doesnt have to be the pure type). Ahh..the harder it goes, the harder the fall.
#5) Detox or Jagger Bomb. You need some spirit in you!
#6) Liquid Cocaine. The finisher. Of course this is just so that its easy on the liver. You can be purely evil and just hit it with a flame shot..those are killer.

Trust me on this. This is the easy way. I've done worse to people =)