Why do...

People show up at a club and don't drink? There should be security going around asking "why r u not drinking?"
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Women Be proud

Of your body. However don't be too proud... If you are fit for a dress size 2 don't fool yourserlf and fit urself into a 0. You think you can compete but we will see ur excess flab. Also a very clear indication that you are not fit for it will be your excess breathing since you will be sucking in your gut... So stop it!!! Or be warned u will be insulted
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You must pass a test...

In order to dance on poles, speakers, ramps and such.
1) Just because you are a certain ethnic does not mean you qualify. 2) you acceptance WILL be base on appearance. 3) you deserve to be booed if you are ugly and u are caught being where u r not suppose to
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Swear Bear

It takes two to go to the bathroom

Dear women, why do you have to go pee in pairs? Its a mini debefrief everytime... You ever see two guys go to the bathroom that are straight? No because someone will yell out:"is the other guy going to hold your balls?"
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Bra-la-palooza

Today is bra-la palooza day. Lasenza is having a sale
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I don't have email?

Ok I'm sorry but I don't believe in people who don't have email unless ur an unborn child... If you are pass the 20+ age u got email. Hell if you touch a computer you got an email... Bs story I don't got email
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Popcorn is expensive and overated

6$? That's a happy meal and ur full! No popcorn is what gets u.. I so don't understand this concept as how this thing ever gotten to that price tag...
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World population Men: 50.29, Women: 49.71

What the hell are those stats? How can u have .29% men??? Didn't the statistic ever took some calculas or basic math? Ever done one of them work out problem where u have to buy something and u have to buy the next whole content and not just a fraction? Well this is the case. Did the computation forgot that a human being is not sliceable?? Or maybe it counted an infant in the womb as a half spawn? No wonder wolfarmalpha search is the next tech flawed
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Gusiness Vs Orange Juice

From AskMen.com

4- Guinness draft has fewer calories than orange juice

Two common misconceptions surround the physical makeup of "the black stuff.” The first is that it's black (officially it has a ruby red color), and the second is that it's a heavy-handed beer, calorie-wise.

The reality is that 12 ounces of the full-bodied, ruby red stuff has just 125 calories, which is less than the same amount of the orange stuff (OJ: 183 calories) and the white stuff (skim milk: 135 calories). It's also less than many popular beers, including regular Budweiser (143), Coors Original (148), Dos Equis (145), Miller Genuine (143), Sam Adams Boston Lager (160), Sierra Nevada Stout (225) and Anchor Porter (205). Even Guinness Foreign Extra Stout, with 176 calories per 12 ounces, is comparatively low in calories.

She Talks - I will drool

Megan Fox on Farts

“If you eat Chinese food, your farts come out like Chinese food. If you eat Mexican food, your farts come out like Mexican food. And milk, it’s like—you can smell the warmth in the fart. My wardrobe on Transformers always smells like farts, and I have no idea why.”

- GQ, October 2008

This is why Megan Fox is awesome

Megan Fox on Toilet Ettiqutte

“I’m horrible to live with. I don’t clean. My clothes end up wherever I take them off. I forget to flush the toilet. Friends will tell me, “Megan, you totally pinched a loaf in my toilet and didn’t flush.”

- FHM, June 2007

Kids needs it

A beating...russell peters said it best: "parents... Beat your kids"
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Shoes observation

Ok I will get shot at for this. Let me set this straight. Women needs 12 pairs and over of shoes. They need flipflops, loafers, comfy, classic, heels, spring, winter, fall, summer, wedding...then of course it has to match a dress.....Men? 4 pair: 1 black casual, 1 formal, 1 sneakers, 1 loafer. That's it. If the guy is smart enough he will choose black since black is a universal color that will fit... The end
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Dear purses

Dear women, stop getting mad @ us for not understanding as to how a purse is so important since we don't understand how it can have everthing but the kitchen sink
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Men fight venus and get spanked

Mars fought venus and lost... Forget this stuff... I never saw a man win an argument. He think he won...a trip to the couch...its an epic constant failure...
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5cents for plastic?

And so it begins.... It will now cost 5cents(or 10) for plastic bags... Good thing my folks were good recycling peep and they always took care of those bags...
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wolverine in review

Its not a terrible movie, however the hype around it is overplayed. What I like the most is how the trailer sucks you in and then when you see the plot: hmmm not much like it... The othe keynote would be that the mush up from ever plotline in the comics was used. I don't quite remember deadpool having optic blast... The movie is dvd potiential and better than X3...but I enjoyed the transformer 2 trailer way more (mayve due to megan fox on a bike)
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The end of the world...soon

Its a cold day in mtl. What happened to spring approaching summer? 1 word: the apocalypse....its abnormal, we are destroying our environment...that's it... The climat is out of whack its the end
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Ur the last winner

Ever heard of this? Your not a looser but your the last winner! Its a way to make a kid feel special... I think that's wrong. That's just bsing the kid. Imagine the real parents telling the truth and then you got this kid come up to you and say "yay I won but I'm last" ... I would have given him a reality check... No your a looser that's what last place means... Improve yourself from your defeat
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Bad music @ the theatre

U know when u wait for the show and you get music? Its crap.... Very crap...my rcommendation is to @ least play the ost of the movie. It might be a marketing incentive but @ least it be better than the new age q92 crap....you know if u watch notorious play some biggie in the theatre. I don't think anyone would object.
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Movie titles ...getting less creative?

Obessed: movie about a white woman obessed with a guy... Original...??? Fighting: about a guy fighting! ....fast and furious.... I don't need to explain that one.... Come on
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Dialing a company asking for call back...

I'm sorry but if you think that a company will call you back with just your # and name...think again...
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Movies...

Movies to watch: star trek. Harry potter, transformer, ice age3, angel + demon$ for now
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Films sequels and spinoff

Ok ill make this short: sometimes they are just milking a franchise. Xme 1-2 great. 3rd: flop. Spider 1 2: great! 3rd: flop. Terminator 1 2: great! Tv and 3rd: flop....indy 4? Flop... Etc etc sometimes its ok but the jokes and the quality somestimes goes down hill
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Crazy people with claws

By the power

By the power of jack, johnny, and captain morgan: give me strength to survive tonights sleepless night of work. Amen
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Sunday...rename it lazyday

Sunday...should be lazy day. Its chill, people wake up late due to club.... Let's not fool ourselves by calling it sunday...its lazy day
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Swine

Stop stereotyping people you ignorant people. God...first sars hit, then omg asian people. Now swine hits: omg mexicans...I can't wait till its a white folk epidemic so I can say "omg! White folks!"
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Animals